Always Searching, But Never Seeing.

Becky Curl
1 min readJan 23, 2021
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

My eyesight is not so good anymore.

Maybe I have been staring at screens for too long,

Or maybe I am just getting tired of looking.

Maybe I am just getting tired of searching for the reason why,

And for the answer to the onslaught of questions cascading through my head at any given moment.

No one tells you when to stop looking,

Or when to give up and just close the chapter for good, desperately trying to hope that next time, it’s better.

How can we be certain there even is a next time?

What if it is only this time, right now?

What if we have been staring at the answer the entire time,

And our eyes just refuse to focus?

What if the answer has been staring back at us with crystal-clear vision,

And we just refuse to meet its gaze?

How do we know when we have become our own enemy?

Our own worst nightmare?

Tell me, how can we ever be certain that any of this is even real?

My eyesight isn’t so good anymore.

And I’m beginning to think that it’s all my fault.

When will I finally let myself see?

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Becky Curl

Freelance Make-Up Artist & Teacher. Wig & Make-Up Designer. Freelance Writer. Coffee, dogs & pop-punk are my life. MFA student at Roosevelt University.