An Empty Cup To Fill
I have spent most of this year waiting for it to be over.
Putting X’s through all of the days I wish I could forget.
Someone asked me what I was looking forward to in the new year.
The best answer I could give was: nothing.
When I think of next year, my mind is blank.
The New Year is not a clean slate.
It’s an empty cup
I am not sure how to fill.
In November,
I stopped taking pictures of myself,
As I tried to learn how to love this person again.
But when December came,
Nothing changed.
And I am just as disconnected.
I have been trying to love this face for 30 years.
And every January 1st I say:
This is the year I will finally fall in love with myself.
This is the year I will finally know what I am doing with my life.
This is the year I will.
This is the year.
It is December 29th,
And I am still hoping
That this year,
This will finally be the one.
