Congratulations; I’m lying

Photo by Monique Carrati on Unsplash

The last time I wore this dress
Was just so you could take it off.
I wear the sweatshirt you loved,
Even though its softness has faded
And it’s not like it will ever bring you back.

I started closing my closet door at night,
Just like you always did.
Maybe it was just another part of your life you didn’t want to let me in on.

I play the same songs on repeat
Even though I don’t hear them anymore.
They just happen,
And so did we.
And sometimes that’s all there is left to say.

I still fall in love with you whenever I see your name.

Today, you got engaged.
And I told you, “congratulations!”
But what I really wanted to say was
how

How could you do this to me
How can I be in love after all of this time
How come I didn’t go on the trips that you asked me on
How could I have chosen a job over you
How can I pretend I didn’t wish I was her

It’s not the apocalypse I’m afraid of —
it’s you.

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Becky Curl

Becky Curl

Freelance Make-Up Artist & Teacher. Wig & Make-Up Designer. Freelance Writer. Coffee, dogs & pop-punk are my life. MFA student at Roosevelt University.