Melatonin & Wine

Photo by Rowan Heuvel on Unsplash

Trigger warning: Sexual assault

I can’t remember what came first.

The melatonin.

Or the assault.

The joke about date raping me all night.

Or the coercion.

There was the wine I never wanted.

There were the dizzy footsteps to the bathroom.

There was the melatonin that you handed me.

There was the coercion.

There was you in my mouth even though I didn’t really want it.

I really didn’t want it, but I knew I really didn’t have a choice.

With you, I never really had a choice.

And then the rest of it, I only remember in pieces.

In flashes of memories I think I have tried so hard to forget.

There was the wine.

There was the melatonin.

There was the rape joke.

There was the coercion.

There was the assault.

Does it even really matter which one came first?

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